I've been trying to out run my grief for 8 weeks now, but oh how it feels like eternity, I've literally been going nowhere fast. Its like he faster I run the closer it is behind me, on top of me, and under me. It feels like a million pound gorilla is sitting on my chest and he's enjoying being there. I'm watching my daughter Mikeia become someone new, I'm passing Michael in traffic knowing he's running too, there seems to be no peace or shall I say no rest at the Inn for us nowhere. There is this silence and hurt that we all share but our experience in and with this is so very different, but our pain is GREAT the same!There is this silence of hurt, anger, longing and lost, it speaks so very loud in our home to the point it pierces our hearts and ears but most of all our souls. Even as I type my emotions are all over the place, I'm thinking of how the scent of our sons are leaving our home drifting away with time. But they are in our hearts and on our minds 24/7. I truly feel that there is nothing in the world nobody can do or say to hurt me or make me or my family feel as bad as we already do, nothing. Oh but when I feel that there is no prayer that I can pray that my heart can even convey to God, and all I can do is stare, or sit and cry, my lips somehow begin to move and my voice slowly rises just enough to say JESUS and immediately he quiets my soul and releases this healing balm within me that I may never be able to explain, and I'm strengthen just enough for another single day, and so Is Michael, Mikeia and Nevaeh. Truly the prayers of the righteous availeth much!